My 10-Year Date with Destiny at the Faena in South Beach, Miami
They say you don’t find the things you love; they find you when the timing is right. For me, that "thing" was a 24-karat gold-leafed woolly mammoth, and our courtship lasted exactly one decade. It was quite literally meant to be in Miami.
Back in 2013, while working at a celebrity travel agency in Los Angeles, I was introduced to a ghost. Sales reps for the Faena Hotel Miami Beach sat in our office and described a $3 million prehistoric icon, encased in hurricane-proof glass, destined for the shores of Florida. While my colleagues saw a marketing pitch, I saw a North Star. For ten years, that mammoth lived rent-free in my soul. I told its story to anyone who would listen, never realizing that the mammoth and I were slowly, magnetically pulling toward one another across the country.
Fast forward to 2023. Work began calling me to South Beach, and one morning, while searching for breakfast, I turned a corner on the boardwalk looking for coffee and gasped. There it was—THE GOLDEN WHOLLY MAMMOTH! It didn’t just a discovery; it felt like it was a cosmic reunion, like 10 years of weird jobs, traveling and wtf moments just all came collided together so I could stumble upon this mammoth.
The Cathedral Lobby Walking into the Faena isn't like checking into a hotel; it’s like stepping into a curated sanctuary. The entire property functions like a world-class museum, but the "Cathedral" (the entrance hall) is where the real magic happens.
The lobby is lined with massive, wall-sized murals by artist Juan Gatti that are nothing short of unbelievable. These aren't just decorations—they are intricate, zodiac-themed masterpieces dripping with occult symbolism, world cultures, and hidden meanings. Whether you’re an astrology devotee or an art lover, you can spend hours getting lost in the celestial details and ancient archetypes that line the walls. It sets a tone that is both sacred and surreal.
By 2025, my love affair with the Faena had evolved into a romantic dinner at Los Fuegos by Francis Mallmann. The vibe here is pure maximalist glamour: signature Faena red, floor-to-ceiling gold, and bold cheetah prints. We leaned into the decadence, ordering the gnocchi, which was so rich and pillowy it felt like a celebration of the journey it took to get here.
The Aesthetic: Think "Old Hollywood meets Safari." It’s drenched in signature Faena red, floor-to-ceiling gold, and enough cheetah print to make a rockstar jealous.
The Crowd: It’s the ultimate "see and be seen" spot, but it somehow feels intimate and romantic rather than pretentious.
What To Order: We dove into the pasta menu, although they are famous for their meat. I went for the gnocchi, and let me tell you—it was rich. Decadent, pillowy, and worth every single calorie
In a city that is constantly reinventing itself, the Faena feels like a permanent fixture of cool. It’s one of my favorite places in the world because it lives up to its own mythos. It’s loud, it’s expensive, it’s gold-plated, and it’s unapologetically art-forward.
Whether you're there for the Hirst mammoth or the rich carbs at dinner, the Faena isn't just a hotel; it’s a 10-year manifestation come to life.
In a world of fleeting trends, the Faena is my permanent Roman Empire. It’s a reminder that some things—and some places—are simply written in the stars.
Faena District Miami River.
The "Faena way of life" is officially moving beyond the beach. While the Collins Avenue icon remains the OG, Alan Faena is currently redefining the city’s skyline with the Faena District Miami River. This massive new cultural epicenter features the Faena Residences Miami—striking twin towers designed by the late, legendary Rafael Viñoly. Connected by a 45,000-square-foot "Sky Bridge" and anchored by a private 14-acre park, it’s bringing that signature red-velvet-and-gold maximalism to the waterfront of Downtown Miami.